Hello,

Just wanted to let ya’ll know we have a big show at the Fine Line Music Cafe on Friday, July 31st.  We’ll be sharing the night with the Wars Of 1812, Lucy Michelle (performing solo), and a duo from Kansas City called Scratch Track.  It should be a great night filled with good music and fun times.  I’ll be giving away the “Live & Alive” tour compilation at the door (to the first 100 or so that want them).  So come early and get one of those.  I handpicked, mastered, and sequenced the songs myself and there’s a number of tunes not on the album that are featured on this collection.

In other news, I’m at home with my guitar in hand, fishing for songs down at Jam Lake, getting my write on.  It’s been hard work since I’ve been away from the inkwell for awhile….kinda gettin’ myself back into it.  But I’ve had a couple of interesting things pop up out of nowhere.  For now, here are the verses to a talking blues song I wrote called “Talkin’ Crazy Woman Land Mine Blues”.  I probably won’t every perform it, but I gotta kick outta writing it.  It’s probably one of the longest tunes I’ve ever written and I had no idea where the story was going.  But it went somewhere and it’s kinda funny.  Until then, peace…...

Talkin’ Crazy Woman Land Mine Blues

I had a girl she was sweet as pie
She made good on my evil eye
She told me everything I want to hear
She took me to the country dance
She moved me like the south of France
she made me wanna cut off both my ears
My heart grew fond, my feet grew set
I learned to smile, forgive, forget
She taught me everything I need to know
Then suddenly she pulled the plug
No this and that, no kiss and hug
I made a date and she didn’t even show

You think I would have given up
A broken heart, a broken cup
I was drinking thinking sinking in my chair
Now her daddy was a PHD
at the local university
I figured I’d go down and visit there
I showed up smelling like a skunk
Said, “Listen doc, I’m in a funk”
That girl of yours done left me high and dry
The Doc laughed and said, “I taught her well
‘cause boys like you were made in hell.
There must be a million reasons why!”

So I called up on the military
‘Cause things were getting pretty scary
I figured if I joined she’d take me back
Despite my dearest mother’s pleas
I left and headed overseas
I was stationed somewhere right outside Iraq
The people there were pretty nice
You didn’t have to tell em twice
Just the aim the gun and tap the powder keg
But one day bad luck called my name
And I guess there ain’t no one to blame
A land mine went and blew off both my legs

Well, I don’t remember anything
And to this day, my ears still ring
They told me I was more than close to dead
I had a million cuts and bruises
I guess in love and war everybody loses
I spent six months inside a soldier’s bed
Then one day when my eyes awoke
Life handed me the cruelest joke
The girl I loved was working as my nurse
And what really cut me down to size
Is that she couldn’t even recognize
my face…Oh Lord, just throw me in the hearse!

So one morning with the morphine drippin’
Enough to keep my nerves from trippin’
I asked her if she’d ever seen my face
She looked at me and pressed her dress
She said, “I guess it’s time that I confess…..
I’m the one who put you in this place.
You see, I loved you from the very start
And I couldn’t stand a broken heart
So I left before the feeling swallowed me
I figured if you had the balls
You’d go fight for a noble cause
And come back a different man, you see.

Then what she said next just blew my mind
I’ve heard it all but not this time
She spun a yarn not meant for sanity
She said, “I heard that you were doing well,
that you’d been lifted from my spell
and you were never coming back to me.”
So I took the pennies from my purse
And registered to be a nurse
And signed up for the red and white and blue
Then one I night I got drunk on wine
And devised a plane that was most divine
I’d plant a mine and blow the legs right off of you!

And sure enough you stepped right on it
You’ll never be leaving me doggone it
If I can’t have you, then nobody can!”
Then she turned up the drip on my IV
And flooded me with ectasy
She was kissing me and holding both my hands
She said, “I hope to God you can forgive me
When you’re bettter you can come home with me
My daddy looked and found the perfect place.”
So here I am just half a man
If I could I’d take a stand
But I’ll settle for my crazy gal’s embrace!